Volta_The_DemonWolf's Blogs

All in the Family
Chapter 1

There was never a lot of fun in our lives until we met Miss Tooty and Miss Doody along with her funloving family.

My name is Alex. I sometimes refer to myself as Skeletor. I'm fifteen years old, I have red hair. I also have ADHD.

Taylor, My brother, Is fourteen. But he also stands at the same height as me. He ALSO has ADHD.

Brandon, My best friend, He's got NO muscle, he weighs about 95 pounds, around that range, But he makes up for it with his mad video game Skillz!

Then we've got the members of "The Extended Family"

Miss Tooty, My aunt, She has a problem with her flatuence, Don't ever get into a fart battle with her, you'll always lose. She's in her twenties, she was born in 1892, But me and Taylor went back in time and brought her here to the present, She seems to fit in just fine.

Miss Doody, She's Miss Tooty's twin as well as my other aunt, Don't even get me started on her. And trust me on this, Don't get Miss Tooty and Miss Doody together, It's a bad idea, They blew the house up last time!

Hans, Hans is my creation...The head on a hand, he's a bio-organic lab accident, he likes to climbs on high places, he also will NEVR look at you directly, you can nly see the side of his face.

Muscle Mommy, She works out A LOT, she also doesn't wear deoderant on the days that she does work out, then she rubs it in your face. Her hands are kind of deformed but She's got those big Muscles to make up for it, She spanked Taylor and was sent to the Moon.

Mr. Fats, My uncle, Miss Tooty farted in his mouth while he was asleep as a prank and as a side effect...He got fat. So instead of being a muscular, Adorable 178 pound man, He's now 453 pounds of love.

Cummin' Charles, ...eh, Lets just say that he has a rather "Big" problem that he should "handle" on his own. Just dont get him too excited.

The Gay Bears, They keep getting gay with eachother, We don't have anything against it, It's just that they like to do it in public, It's their biggest turn on.

Burpin' Bonnie and Belchin' Bob, they met at a bar, they both ordered the same drink which was a club soda, and they couldn't could one back and they belched out a big one and the rest is history.

Slappin' Sally, Taylor and I are scared of her, everytime she sees us, She slaps us slly.

The Mini Me's, they're EXACT copies of us, but they're only two feet tall.

And last but not least, The Clowns, These bundles of fun used to scare the living crap out of us, you see, they're actually Balloons, but while we were filling them up, some Radioactive gas floated into the balloons and then into the clown suits and we got these crazy Clowns, You can kill them but They'll just keep coming back.

Anyhow, Taylor and I were at our house planning a party. "Who shall we invite?" I asked Taylor curoiusly. Taylor replied, "It doesn't really matter, just don't invite Miss Tooty AND Miss Doody, you know what happened last time!" I looked back at the last party we had with those twins and said, "Yeah, they blew up the house." Taylor nodded and I asked, "How about we just invite Miss Tooty?"
Taylor said, "No."

"Why not?"

"We don't want any of them there."

"Hmm, how 'bout if I bring extra baked beans to keep her distracted?"

"Alright, but you better bring a LOT of baked beans."

"Okay now that's settled, who else should we invite?" We both then decided on who else to invite.

I went over the list, "Brandon, Hans, The Clowns, Mr. Fats, And the Vomit Twins."

Taylor heard the last name, "The Vomit Twins? Break out the Pepto Bismal, Disguise as Syrup of Ipecac!"

I then added, "What about Scott? Should we invite him?"

Taylor told me in a stern voice, "NO, he might rape everyone there." I then asked Taylor, "How about we use a bouncer just in case Miss Doody shows up?" Taylor said, "Good idea, who shall we use?"
I pondered on who to use as a bouncer and came to a decision. "Muscle Mommy?"
Taylor nodded in approval, "Yeah, she would seem to make a good bouncer, she's got those big muscles."
I then said, "Alright then, It's decided, Muscle Mommy will be the bouncer, lets send the invites."

...THE NEXT DAY...

Invitations were sent and everything went smoothly.
...Until Scott found the Address...And he brung Miss Doody. He wanted Revenge for us not inviting him. I whispered to Taylor, "How the hell did he get here?"

Miss Tooty(Who was going at the Beef stew at the time) Adknowledged Miss Doody's presence and tossed her a bottle of laxatives. I saw her give Miss Doody the laxatives. I then told Taylor that trouble was brewing. I told him in a serious manner, "Taylor...She's here." Just then we heard her footsteps on the roof. To make matters worse, Miss Tooty started a fire in the fireplace and was witing for the signal. Taylor said to me, "Distract her, I'll get everyone out." So I walked up to her and yelled "SARAH MARIA TOOTY!! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A FART BATTLE!"

She turned around and stared daggers at me and grinned. She said, "You're gonna start a pickle with me? you're on!"

She started, "RRRRTT! RRT! RRRRRRTTTT!"

I countered her with "RRRRRTT! RRRRTTT RRRRRRRRRTT!"

Miss Doody must of heard her twin battling with me because I didn't hear her footsteps as much.
We battled for a good half hour. But I eventually succumbed, I had lost to Miss Tooty, She outfarted me, And to humiliate me even more, she bent over and let one loose in my face.
"BRRRRRRRTT!"
And she said to me, "That oughta teach you a thing or two sonny Jim!"
I did manage to buy Tayor some time to get most of the people out. We were just about to bail out of our doomed house when we remembered something...We forgot Brandon.

Taylor & I ran back inside and found him playing video games. We said,

"Brandon, we've gotta go...now."

He said, "Why?"

Taylor yelled, "Because the house is gonna blow!!"

He replied, "Lies."

We all heard Miss Doody's footsteps centralized near the chimney and I screamed, "NOW!!!"

He wouldn't listen, So we picked him up and carried him out, We saw Miss Tooty bending over the fireplace ready to fire. We all got out and started to run like hell, and not a moment later we heard a loud fart and the house exploded.

We all were knocked off our feet and we were swallowed by the mushroom cloud from the resulting explosion. When the smoke finally cleared, Taylor and I were covered in a pile of debris. Thankfully Muscle Mommy was there and pulled us out of the rubble. After we recomposed ourselves, We told Muscle Mommy to go give Scott a spanking that he would never forget.

Taylor then asked, "Where's Brandon?"

We then heard him yell. He was stuck in a tree. I yelled to him, "Brandon, This is no time for a family reunion!"
We got him down and he said, "Wow! You weren't kidding!"

I sat on the ground, let out a sigh and said, "well, What are we gonna do now?"

To be continued...